Leo's Third Birthday Interview

Fair warning, this video is over thirteen minutes long and Zoe shrieks through the first couple minutes.  He doesn't quite get his groove back after his nap and the squeaky table and Talula snoring can be distracting.  You are under no obligation to watch it.

Personally, I love it - but I'm his mom, I have to love it.  Some of his answers really surprised me.  I was also impressed at how seriously he took it - I mean, I know he's a serious kid, but man.  He really was committed.  I've included a transcript with brief commentary (in parenthesis) below.  I really hope we can do this every year from here on out.

Me: First of all, Happy Birthday, Sir.
Leo: Happy Birthday
Me: Thank you.  What's your name?
Leo: Leo
Me: And how old are you today?
Leo: Three (baby shrieking)
Me: How old?
Leo: Three.
Me: Three? Congratulations. Let's see, I have some questions I'd like to ask you. Who is your best friend?
Leo: Etta
Me: Oh, she's a good friend.  What's your favorite thing to do?
Leo: I don't like roller coasters.
Me: Ok, so that's NOT your favorite thing.  What is your favorite thing? What do you like to do?
Leo: I like to hang on trees.
Me: That's a good thing to do.  What's your favorite color?
Leo: Pink.
Me: It that why you have those pink balloons?
(Leo nods)
Me: That's pretty awesome. What's your favorite food?
Leo: Cauliflower, broccoli, and hot dogs. (baby shrieking)
Me: Cauliflower, broccoli and hot dogs? Alright. And, What do you like to do with your family?
Leo: I like to play
Me: That's fun. What do you like to play with them?
Leo: Frisbee
Me: Oh, that's fun. What's your favorite toy?
Leo: Bears
Me: Yeah?
Leo: My soft bears
Me: Your soft bears. That's a pretty cool toy. What would you like to be when you grow up?
Leo: A mom so I can have lattes. (He told me this once a few weeks ago, very earnestly, and I laughed so hard that now it's his go-to answer for this question.)
Me: (Laughing) You wanna be a mom, so you can have a latte.  What kind of job do you think you might like to do?
Leo: Mmm, maybe I wanna do a dumper truck job.
Me: That would be a cool job.
Leo: Or a digger truck.
Me: Right, so you could be a mom who drives a dumper truck or a digger truck.
Leo: Whatever truck I want.
Me: Great. What makes you happy?
Leo: Smiling faces
Me: Smiling faces make you happy? What makes you sad?
Leo: Not smiling faces
Me: That's good.  What's your favorite tv show?
Leo: Go, Diego, Go
Me: Oh, that's a good one.  What's your favorite book?
Leo: The Wild Things
Me: The Wild Things. That's a good one too. What's your favorite thing to learn about?
Leo: Sssrr, rock- outer space rocksh - spaceships.
Me: whoa, that's interesting. What has been your favorite part of your birthday so far?
Leo: The cake. (At this point he had only had pancakes with whipped cream - but I'm glad he really thought it was cake!)
Me: Oh yeah? (Laughing) That was pretty good. What's your favorite place to go?
Leo: To the playground.
Me: Oh that's a good place to go. What's your favorite treat?
Leo: Gummy bunnies.
Me: Gummy bunnies. That's a good one. What do you think about before you fall asleep?
Leo: I don't know
Me: When it's bedtime and you're about to fall asleep, what do you like to think about?
Leo: Dreams
Me: You like to think about what you are going to dream?
Leo: What am I gonna dream about
Me: What are you gonna dream about? That's a good thing to think about.
Leo: I say, i'm gonna dream about...the farm that we go to.
Me: I can't hear you with the balloon, can you move it for me?
Leo: yeah
Me: You dream about a farm?
Leo: yeah
Me: The farm you're gonna go to
Leo: yeah
Me: That's pretty cool
Leo: And going to Sesame Place
Me: Oh and going to Sesame Place. That's fun to think about.
Leo: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yeah. Can we go to sesame place?
Me: I bet we can one day.
Leo: Ok, ok mama. ok, can you hear me?
Me: No, I can't.
Leo: why? (Clearly, this is starting to devolve...)
Me: Can you let the ballon go until we are done with the questions and then you can play with the balloon?  Just a few more I think. Let's see.  What is your favorite animal?
Leo: The cows.  But I don't like them when they say moo because they wake you...
Me: Oh yeah.
Leo: Because I won't wake up when the rooster crow.
Me: Can you let go of it just until we are done with the interview please? Because i really want to be able to hear your answers.
Leo: Why?
Me: Because I like what you have to say.
Leo: Come on, come on.
Me: Come on.  Ok, do you want to take a little break and we can finish the interview later, maybe around dinner time?
Leo: Yep
Me: Ok, thank you for taking the time to answer some of these questions.  I love you.
Leo: I love you, too. I want to have this milk for my breakfixt ok? I want to have it with my breakfixt ok?
Me: Ok, we'll save it for your breakfast.
Leo: Ok
(Nap Break - he comes back still half asleep.)
Me: Do you remember what question we were on for your interview? Let me scoot you in.
Leo: I don't know
Me: I think i was asking what your favorite animal is.  What's your favorite animal?
(pregnant pause)
Leo: I need to go potty
Me: Oh, ok. (Laughing) Let me just pause this for us for a moment.
(Potty Break)
Me: Where were we?
Leo: I don't know.
Me: I think iw as about to ask you what your favorite animal is. What is your favorite animal?
Leo: All kind of stuff.  Like the animal of a bug.
Me: Oh yeah.
Leo: I like to watch bugs all the time when they crawl.
Me: That's pretty cool. What other animals do you like?
Leo: Ladybugs, I like certain kinds of bugs.
Me: Thirteen kinds of bugs? Wow.
(Leo nods yes, but his eyes say, "No, that's not what I said at all.")
Me: Ok
Leo: Ladybugs
Me: So lets go on to the next question then. What are you really good at?
Leo: Exercising
Me: Oh yeah.  I didn't know that about you. What is your favorite movie?
Leo: I don't know.
Me: Have you ever seen a movie?
Leo: I did.
Me: Have you ever seen one you really liked?
Leo: A grown up show
Me: A grown up show? What was it? (pause) I know you've seen some movies. I know you've seen Finding Nemo and Toy Story and Dumbo and Monsters Inc. Which was your faovirte?
Leo: Monsters Inc.
Me: That's a good choice. What is your favorite song?
Leo: The ABCD
Me: That's a good song. Hmmm, and What's your favorite thing to wear?
Leo: Collar
Me: You like to have a collar. You like to either have a polo or button down shirt. What about  for bottoms? What kind of bottoms do you like? (The reason I asked the follow up is because his signature look is a button down shirt with sweatpants.  Fashion forward.)
Leo: Bottoms like?
Me: Do you like to wear shorts, do you like to wear jeans, courdoroys, sweat pants?
Leo: Socks, a lot.
Me: Socks are good to wear on the bottom half of your body. That's good.  Mmm, If you hd a thousand dollars what would you buy?
Leo: Cereal
Me: That would buy a lot of cereal. If you had one wish what would you wish for?
Leo: I don't know, a ballon or something?
Me: That's a good wish. What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Leo: I want to pick my legs up and sit like this.
Me: Ok, do you want me to scoot you back just a touch?
Leo: Um a little bit more
Me: A little bit more, all right, there you go. Did you hear my question? What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Leo: Mint
Me: Really? Ok.  Who's your hero?
Leo: I don't have any heros.
Me: You don't any heros? Ok. I guess you could be your own hero.
Leo: Well, I'm not my - a hero.
Me: I think you're kind of a hero.  Daddy's my hero... and you are my hero.
Leo: No I'm not.
Me: Do you have any nick names?
Leo: No nick names for me.  I don't like nick names.
Me: And, Who teaches you lots of things?
Leo: I don't have, I don't go to school.
Me: No, but does anyone teach you things?
Leo: *cough, cough, cough*
Me: Great job covering your mouth.
Leo: *cough cough cough cough*
Me: No? What can you do now that you couldn't do when you were little? Is there anything you've learned to do this year that you couldn't do when you were little?
Leo: Uh, no.
Me: Nothing? Is there anything you can do that Zoe can't do? You can walk for one thing.  That's one thing you've learned.  You couldn't do that when you were very little. You've learned to climb to the top fo the jungle gym. You can go down the big slide. You've learned lots of things.  I'm really proud of you.
Leo: What's a jungle gym?
Me: Jungle gym, it's like at the play ground, that thing that you climb.  We call that a jungle gym.  Don't you call it a jungle gym? What do you call it?
Leo: I call it something else. I call it, I call it the steps.
Me: Oh the steps
Leo: For to go up the slide.  Can we go to Clark Park?
Me: You want to go to Clark Park next?
Leo: Mm-hm
Me: I think we have enough time before dinner.  Daddy's going to meet us for dinner we just have to choose what we wat to eat.  We can have either burgers or Manakeesh, what do you want? (Originally, we told him he could choose anything he wanted to have for dinner - but after more than a dozen possibilities, some of which we didn't even know what he was talking about, it seemed like it was stressing him out more than a fun choice. Some of his possibilities included: fried appetize noodles - no idea, lasagna, grilled cheese and mac and cheese.  When he couldn't decide, he would pick on and then add a side of everything else - or a lasagna with everything inside. So we narrowed the options down for him.)
Leo: Manakeesh for my birthday, but dinner
Me: Ok, well then let's go to Clark Park.  Anything else you want to say for your birthday interview?
Leo: I think I want to... make a soup for my last dinner, birthday dinner.
Me: You think you want to make a soup? We could stay home and make soup instead of going to Manakeesh. Which do you want?
Leo: Manakeesh
Me: Ok, well maybe we can make soup tomorrow. We are going to have dinner every night even if it's not someone's birthday. And the truth is you get to choose a lot what we have for dinner.  So, we'll keep soup on the docket.  I love you, happy birthday.
Leo: Happy birthday.

(One question I would ask for next time would be: What is your biggest fear?  I asked him this today and he said, "The Wild Things.")

Leo's Third Birthday

Today Leo turned three and I think (I hope) his birthday was all he dreamed it would be. We wanted to make the day special - but not too over the top. We wanted him to feel like it is his special day, while reminding him that it is also a special day for everyone that loves him.

(jb did this by telling him that, in a way, it is everyone's birthday because so many of us remember his birth and meeting him for the first time. This resulted in him wishing a happy birthday right back to everyone who wished him a happy birthday.)

The night before I stayed up decorating his chair and making a streamer doorway to the kitchen. When he's older perhaps I'll make one for his bedroom door, but these days he usually wakes up in our room.

jb took the morning off work so we were all able to have breakfast together. Leo and Zoe shared some fruit while I made pancakes. I whipped up some heavy cream with a touch of sugar for "icing" and added sprinkles, candles and singing. He was tickled that he got to eat "cake" for breakfast.  

Then he got some time to play with dad before lunch. For lunch he requested a hotdog, so we obliged with the stipulation that he start with a bowl of broccoli. After lunch, jb went into work and we had story time. We've had a bit of a sleep deficit around here, so he needed the rest and a friend recently passed along a large bag of books to us, so we were all set for an epic story time. 

After napping for a couple hours, he requested a trip to the playground - so off we went. We serendipitously ran into several friends and Leo had a great time. 

Soon dinner time rolled around and jb met up with us to go to Leo's current favorite restaurant, Manakeesh. We ate flatbreads and drank lemonade and just as we were going to wrap it up we surprised him with a mini-cupcake and candle and another round of birthday songs and wishes - interestingly, he wished for a cupcake. 

Finally, we walked home and got ready for bed and he fell asleep pretty darn happy. 

Throughout the day he kept saying he was having a really great birthday - which was really nice to hear, and I believed him. We also received several calls from family to wish him a happy birthday - this is where the "It's a special day for all of us" lesson was repeated. He doesn't have a ton of patience for phone calls to begin with, multiply that by eight and add the distraction of balloons, and, well, it can devolve quickly. But he did pretty well thanking people for their calls and telling them about his day. 

I know kids get harder to impress as they get older, but man, today was perfect. His excitement and happiness were perfect. We managed to get through the day with minimal overwhelmed-ness and no meltdowns, so I hope that sets the tone for the year. 

Leo says his favorite part of the day was the cake - for me, I think it was his birthday interview. The video isn't perfect (almost 15 minutes long and features a cameo of Zoe screaming) but I'm hoping to post it, and perhaps a transcript, soon. 

In The Weeds

Today is the last day that I will be the mama of two kids under three. Leo turns three tomorrow and I'm flooded with feelings of happiness, pride, sadness and relief.  Mostly, I'm just glad we survived this year. (Please keep any "If you think two was hard, just wait until three!" comments to yourself.)

It's been a tough year.  An amazing year, certainly, but I've been short on sleep, patience, and time to myself.  It hasn't been any one thing that has made this year difficult.  Leo has had his two year old challenges, but nothing out of the ordinary.  Zoe is a pretty easy baby.  They get along great.  There's nothing exceptionally challenging about our situation - and yet...  When I am out and about with both kids we get a lot of sympathetic smiles and "You've certainly got your hands full!" comments.  I usually smile and respond by saying, "Happily so, but yes, quite full!"  I've also had two separate people reminisce about when their kids were the ages my children are now and refer to it as "the weeds."  That rang so very true.  I find these comments so validating.

I know I'm not the first person to have kids.  People have juggled more kids/multiples/closer ages with less support, smaller budgets and fewer resources - but I'm not embarrassed to say this year has kicked my ass.  Going from one kid to two has taken me for a spin.

I keep thinking things will settle down soon.  That I'll catch up.  But I'm coming to terms with the fact that this is just our new normal.  And that's ok.  I'll get better at it.  Or things will shift again.  It will work out somehow.  Or at least time will continue to march on.

In the meantime I'm doing my best to not rush this time.  It doesn't need my help - it's flying by all on it's own.  I try to remember to be in the moment as much as possible.  Even if the moments are totally hectic.  Leo will never be two again.  It's bittersweet.

I'm trying to balance remembering that there is a light at end of this tunnel and also reminding myself that I don't WANT to be rescued from this time in our lives.  It's a lot of hard work, but the rewards are monumental.  My babies are babies.  They are forging this amazing relationship with each other.  They are learning hundreds of things each minute.  They need me (seriously, like every freaking second).  I take comfort in, but also lament that things won't be like this forever.

I'm probably still going to feel overwhelmed.  I'll probably still raise my voice or snap at my partner.  I'll probably even break down and cry some days.  The truth is I have no illusions that it will get easier, I just know it will get different.  I have many years ahead of me to pee alone.  And when they are here I probably will miss the days when most of our problems could be traced back to a kid being either too tired or too hungry.

Newborns are tough.  Toddlers are tough.  Preschoolers are tough.  Big kids are tough.  The teenage years are a breeze, though, right?  No?  Ok.  So kids are tough all around.

Each stage has it's unique challenges and rewards and I'm sure whatever stage you are muddling through at the time seems like the stage that is finally going to break you.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to survive.  Many before me have.  So, if you are in the weeds with me, maybe we can get together for coffee in about twenty years and complain about how the kids never call.

Mother's Day Highlights

Another fantastic and traditionally low key Mother's Day at our house.  Here were the my top ten favorite things about the day (in order of appearance):

1. Sleeping in

2. Good morning hugs and kisses

3. Latte delivery from my favorite coffee shop

4. Homemade card
5. Open windows for the perfect cross-breeze in the house

6. Best egg sandwich of my life

7. Fresh made brownies

8. Call/texts/messages from people who are not my children

9. Seamless bedtime routine for the kids
10. Foot Rub

I hope you had a great day, too!

WW: Siblings in The Springtime

My House Is Clean (No Thanks To Me)

I love to play the "If We Won The Lottery" game, in which I enumerate all the luxuries I would indulge in regularly if we had the cash.  Among the mani-pedis, massages, and shameless shopping one treat always makes the list: Cleaning help.  Well last week I got to live the dream (ha) when Home Joy invited me to try their services (disclosure: Home Joy provided a free cleaning).

I easily booked our cleaning online and the cleaner assigned to our home arrived on time, asked what we'd like him to focus on, and did a really thorough job.  My priority is clean floors since so much of this happens in our house:

And our floors got clean - all of our floors.  Including the corners and under the furniture - not just "por donde ve la suegra" (where your mother-in-law will see), as my mother would say.  And not just the floors, all those spots I don't usually get to (like dusting the shelves) got some much needed attention.

I planned to take the kids to the playground to stay out of the way that day, but it was a rainy and chilly spring day so we stayed in the house during our appointment.  Our cleaner was friendly and good with the kids (Leo was very curious about the whole thing).  I felt comfortable knowing that Home Joy cleaners are insured, bonded and pass background checks.

I also really liked that they texted me a reminder about my upcoming appointment and an easy follow up to make sure I was happy with my experience.  They have a 100% satisfaction guarantee - so if you do decide to give them a try, you've got nothing to lose.

The best part?  The rate for in-home cleaning is $20/hour.  That makes it reasonable to fit into our budget from time to time - which will be such a treat.  Home Joy is new to the Philly area and is officially launching tomorrow, Wednesday, May 8th.  Just in time for Mother's Day ;)

Note: Right now they are only servicing Philly proper, but they have plans to expand to other neighborhoods.  If you'd like to be notified when cleaners will be available in your area you can sign up for a follow-up e-mail.  

An Agnostic's Orthodox Easter

This Sunday we celebrated Easter.  jb and I both grew up in the Orthodox church which follows the Julian calendar.  While most Christians follow the Gregorian calendar and celebrated Easter back at the end of March, Orthodox Christians are celebrating this week - and we are joining them.

I'm still figuring out what role religion plays in our lives exactly - I think for many queer people, a relationship with religion can be complicated.  Sometimes I think that I want to keep our holidays purely secular and based on celebrating the passing seasons.  I'd like to think of them as a way to maintain tradition and take advantage of the times that most of our country is celebrating.  Sometimes I want to acknowledge something bigger than this life.  I just don't always know what that is.  How much does tradition really count when you aren't sold on the premise?

For now, we are continuing to celebrate Easter/Christmas/Etc. We are doing our best to convey the beliefs behind the holidays to the kids, while also making it clear that people believe many different things and it's ok to not know exactly what you believe.  I also hope that we are modeling the ability to make traditions our own.  I'm heading up the seasonal and more secular traditions - for example dying eggs and planting our garden - and jb is taking the lead on the religious and church affairs.  (Although, we had to abort our midnight Easter service excursion this year because we made the mistake of putting pjs on the kids thinking it would be fine to wake them up at 11 to dress them in church clothes - ha.  Next year back to putting them to bed in the clothes they will wear to church.)

We spent the day at my brother-in-law's home.  The kids had an egg hunt (yes, Zoe could crawl to find some obviously placed eggs all on her own!), we shared a delicious meal, and Leo played (and won) his first game of Uno.  It was lovely.

Leo is pretty much taking holidays - all holidays - at face value.  Although he does have plenty of questions about church, which we do our best to answer.  I'm not looking forward to the day when Leo has questions about religion's role in advocating against families like ours - but I think he will be able to understand that there is good and bad in most things in this world.  We just need to seek out the good.  If the good doesn't outweigh the bad, then that's not for you.

If/When he asks why I was ok making religious based holidays and visits to church a part of our life despite not being sure what I believe and knowing that politically, the "religious" right has not been a friend of ours - I will point to the underlying message of love.  I will point to all the wonderful and kind people of faith in our lives.  I will point to the comfort belief in something bigger than yourself - whether that is god, community, or the universe - can provide. I hope he will see that those advancing hate in the name of god are the ones that are wrong.

"The Gospel message of the Resurrection is as simple as it is radical: We are called to stand for love where hatred persists, to preach compassion where injustice abounds, and to insist on dialogue where division prevails." -Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew

WW: May Day

The Miseducation of Zoe Aurora

Leo, like any good big brother, loves to teach Zoe things.  He is always talking to her or narrating what he's doing for her benefit.

"Zoe, I'm putting my socks on.  You have to make the hole really big so your foot will fit inside.  When you get bigger you can put your own socks on, too."

"Zoe, I'm eating a cookie.  Babies can't eat cookies, but you can have some blueberries.  Blueberries are really good!  And when you are big like me, we can both have a cookie."

It's really sweet.  And very educational for Zoe, I'm sure.  Leo does know a lot.  But he doesn't know quite as much as he *thinks* he knows.  For example:

Leo said to her, "Zoe, this is used to make honey.  Isn't that interesting? It's yellow, like honey.  That's how you can remember."  As he held this up:

Overhearing, I asked him how it was used to make honey.  I was totally confused.  He responded, "It's a bee comb, mama.  That's how you make honey." The comb had come as part of a basket of baby Burt's Bees products - so it was, in fact, a bee comb.  Bee comb.  Honey comb.  Makes perfect sense.

It is so easy to forget that kids are piecing the world together from bits and pieces they pick up along the way.  Not everything always fits just right.  I took the opportunity to talk to him a bit about the process of making honey and the (not-so-secret, thanks to Google) lives of bees.  Apparently, there were a couple other misconceptions to clear up as well.  He thought bees lived in flowers - so we talked about pollen and hives.  We looked up pictures of honeycombs.  It was, what I thought, a fairly thorough lesson.

We even talked a little about homophones.  I used some examples he already knew: rock as in stone vs. rock as in music, the bow on a present vs. the bow of a violin, and my sister his Aunt vs. the bug ant. (No I didn't parse out homonyms and homographs for him - he's not even three, give him a break!)

I was feeling pretty good about our conversation and my ability to fill in the holes for him as he learns about the world around us.  Then, as I was walking away I heard him telling Zoe, "So the honeycombs are in hives.  Then the bees fly to each person's house to bring them the honey for their pancakes..."

Perhaps I still have some work to do.

WW: Day To Day